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令人窒息的愛

Smother Love

Every morning,Leanne Brickland and he sister would bicycle to school with the same words ringing in their ears:“watch out crossing the road.Don"t speak to strangers”.“Mum would stand at the top of the steps and call that out,”says Brickland,now a primary-school teachet and mother of four from Rotorua,New Zealand.Substitute boxers and thongs for undies(內(nèi)衣),and the nagging fears that haunt parents haven"t really changed.What has altered,dramatically,is the confidence we once had in our children"s ability to fling themselves at life without a grown-up holding their hands.

Worry-ridden Parents and Stifled Kids

By today"sstandards,the childhood freedoms Brickland took for granted practically verge on parental neglect.Her mother worked,so she and her sister had a key to let themselves in after school and were expected to do their homework and put on the potatoes for dinner.At the family"s beach house near Wellington,the two girls,from the age of five or six,would disappear for hours to play in the lakes and sands.

A generation later,Brickland"s children are growing up in a world more indulged yet more accustomed to peril.The techno-minded generation of PlayStation kids who can conquer entire armies and rocket through space can"t even be trusted to cross the street alone.“I worry about the road.I worry about strangers.In some ways I think they"re missing out,but I like to be able to see them, to know where they are and what they"re doing.”

Call it smother love,indulged-kid syndrome,parental neurosis(神經(jīng)癥).Even though today"s children have the universe at their fingertips thanks to the Internet,their physical boundaries are shrinking at a rapid pace.According to British social scientist Mayer Hillman,a child"s play zone has contracted so radically that we"re producing the human equivalent of henhouse chickens-plump from lack of exercise and without the flexibility and initiative of freerange kids of the past.The spirit of our times is no longer the resourceful adventurer Tom Sawyer but rather the worry-ridden dad and his stifled only child in Finding Nemo.

In short,child rearing has become an exercise in risk minimization,represented by stories such as the father who refused to allow his daughter on a school picnic to the beach for fear she might drown.While it"s natural for a parent to want to protect their children from danger,you have to wonder;Have we gone too far?

Parents Wrap Kids up in Cotton Wool

A study conducted by Paul Tranter,a lecturer in geography at the Australian Defence Force Academy in Canberra,showed that while Australian and New Zealand children had similar smounts of unsupervised freedom,it was far less than German of English kids.For example,only a third of ten-year-olds in Australia and New Zealand were allowed to visit places other than school alone,compared to 80 percent in Germany.

Girls were even more restricted than boys,with parents fearing assault or molestation(騷擾),while traffic dangers were seen as the greatest threat to boys.Bike ownership has doubled in a generation,but“independent mobility”---the ability to roam and explore unsupervised---has radically declined.In Auckland,for example,many primary schools have done away with bicycle racks because the streets are considered too unsafe.And in Christchurch,New Zealand"s most bike-friendly city,the number of pupils cycling to school has fallen from more than 90 percent in the late 1970s to less than 20 percent.Safely strapped into the family 4x4,children are instead driven from home to the school gate,then off to ballet,soccer or swimming lessons--rarely straying from watchful adult eyes.

In the U.S.Journal of Physical Education,Recreation&Dance,New Jersey assistant principal and hockey coach Bobbie Schultz writes that playing in the street after school with neighbourhood kids--creating their own rules,making their own decisions and settling disputes--was where the real learning took place.“The street was one of the greatest sources of my life skills,”she says.“I don"t see‘on-the-street play’anymore.I see adult-organized activities.Parents don"t realize what an integral part of character development their children are missing.”

Armoured with bicycle helmets,car seats,“safe”playgrounds and sunscreen,children are getting the message loud and clear that the world is full or peril--and that they"re ill-equipped to handle it alone.Yet research consistently shows young people are much more capable than we think,says professor Anne Smith,director of New Zealand"s Children"s Issues Centre.“The thing that many adults have difficulty with is that children can"t learn to be grown-up if they"re excluded and protected all the time.”

Educational psychologist Paul Prangley reckons it"s about time the kid gloves came off.He believes parenting has taken on a paranoid(患妄想狂的)edge that"s creating a generation of naive,insecure youngsters who are subconsciously being taught they"re incapable of handing things by themselves.“Flexibility and the ability to resist pressure and temptation are learned skills,”Prangley explains.“If you wrap kids up in cotton wool and don"t give them the opportunity to take risks,they"re less equipped to make responsible decisions later in life.”

Parents Should Gain Proper Perspective

Sadly,high-profile cases of children being kidnapped and murdered--such as ten-year-old Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman in the United Kingdom;five-year-old Chloe Hoson in Australia,whose body was found just 200 metres from where she lived;and six-year-old Teresa Cormack in New Zealand,who was snatched off the street on her way to school--only serve to reinforce parents"fears.Teresa Cormack"s death,for example,was one of the rare New Zealand cases of random child kidnap.In Australia,the odds of someone under the age of 15 being murdered by a stranger have been estimated at one in four million.A child is at far greater risk from a family member or someone they know.

However,parental fear is contagious.In one British study,far more children feared an attack by a stranger than being hit by a car.“We are losing our sense of perspective,”write Jan Parker and Jan Stimpson in their parenting book,Raising Happy Children.“Every parent has to negotiate their own route between equipping children with the skills they need to stay safe and not restricting or terrifying them unnecessarily in the process.”

Dr.Claire Freeman,a planning expert at the University of Otago,points to the erosion of community responsibility as another casualty of that mutual distrust.Not so long ago,adults knew all the local kids and were the informal guardians of the neighbourhood.“Now,particularly if you are a man,you may hesitate to offer help to a lost child for fear your motives might be questioned.”

More Space and More Attention to Kid"s Needs

As a planner in the mid-1990s,Freeman became concerned about the loss of green space to development and the erosion of informal places to play.In a study that looked at how children in the British city of Leeds spent their summer holidays,compared with their parents" childhood experiences,she found the freedom to explore had been severely contracted--in some cases,down to the front yard.Freeman says she cannot remember being inside the house as a child,or being alone.Growing up was about being part of a group.Now a mother of four,Freeman believes the “domestication of play”is robbing kids of their sense of belonging within a society.

Nevertheless,Freeman says children"s needs are starting to get more emphasis.In the Netherlands,child-friendly “home zones”have been created where priority is given to pedestrians,rather than cars.And ponds are being incorporated back into housing estates on the principle that children should learn to be safe around water,rather than be surrounded by a barren landscape.After all ,as one of the smarter fosh says in Finding Nemo there"s one problem with nothing ever will.

參考譯文

令人窒息的愛

每天早上，利安娜·布里克蘭德和她妹妹騎自行車去上學(xué)時(shí)耳邊總會(huì)回蕩著：“過馬路當(dāng)心!別跟陌生人說話!”這樣的話?！皨寢尶偸钦驹谂_(tái)階頂上，叮囑著”，布里克蘭德說。她如今是一名小學(xué)老師，已是四個(gè)孩子的母親，住在新西蘭的羅托魯阿。時(shí)過境遷，但物事依然：父母對(duì)孩子換內(nèi)衣褲之類生活細(xì)節(jié)的嘮嘮叨叨、對(duì)孩子安全的擔(dān)心受怕、老不放心的心態(tài)并未改變。[1]發(fā)生巨大變化的，是我們對(duì)孩子曾經(jīng)有過的信心：相信他們沒有大人的扶持，也能經(jīng)受得住生活中的摸爬滾打。

父母過分擔(dān)心，孩子受壓制

按照今天的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，布里克蘭德認(rèn)為兒童理所當(dāng)然應(yīng)該享有的童年自由實(shí)際上被父母忽視了。[2]她小的時(shí)候，母親要上班，便給了她和妹妹各一把鑰匙，放學(xué)后她們就自己進(jìn)家門，自己做家庭作業(yè)，然后拿土豆當(dāng)晚餐。她們家的房子靠近海灘，在惠靈頓附近;兩個(gè)小女孩從五六歲開始，就常從家里跑出來，到礁湖和沙丘里去玩上幾個(gè)小時(shí)。

到了下一代，布里克蘭德的孩子們已是成長(zhǎng)在一個(gè)生活越來越來越放縱但危險(xiǎn)也越來越多的世界。如今一代的孩子都在游戲站長(zhǎng)大，腦子里裝滿了各種各樣的技術(shù)，他們可在游戲機(jī)上橫掃整支軍隊(duì)，或乘火箭登上太空，但單獨(dú)過街卻無法讓人放心。“好多年我都是步行或騎車上學(xué)，但我的孩子們沒有，”布里克蘭德說?！拔液軗?dān)心路上的情況，擔(dān)心陌生人。在某些方面我覺得他們正在錯(cuò)過一些東西，但我還是想能看見他們，知道他們?cè)谀膬?、在做什么，這樣我才會(huì)放心一些?！?/p>

這叫令人窒息的愛、溺愛子女綜合癥、父母神經(jīng)質(zhì)。如今的孩子，盡管多虧了因特網(wǎng)，大千世界的知識(shí)都能夠唾手可得，但他們親身經(jīng)歷的世界卻在迅速萎縮。[3]根據(jù)英國(guó)社會(huì)科學(xué)家邁爾·希爾曼的說法：孩子的玩?？臻g急劇收縮，人類自己也變得如同養(yǎng)雞場(chǎng)的小雞一般-----缺乏鍛煉，容易發(fā)胖，缺乏以前自由自在的孩子們所有的適應(yīng)能力和進(jìn)取心。我們這個(gè)時(shí)代的精神，不再是湯姆·索亞那種足智多謀的冒險(xiǎn)家，而是《海底總動(dòng)員》中老是擔(dān)心受怕的爸爸和他那被壓制的獨(dú)生子。

簡(jiǎn)而言之，撫養(yǎng)孩子已經(jīng)成為了一種風(fēng)險(xiǎn)最小化的操練，很多事情都說明了這一點(diǎn)，比如一位父親不準(zhǔn)女兒參加學(xué)校的海灘野餐活動(dòng)，因?yàn)閾?dān)心女兒可能會(huì)溺水。作為家長(zhǎng)，想要保護(hù)孩子遠(yuǎn)離危險(xiǎn)是很自然的事情，但是你不禁要問：我們是不是管得太多了?

父母把孩子裹在棉絮中

位于堪培拉的澳大利亞國(guó)防軍學(xué)院地理講師保羅·特拉特的一項(xiàng)研究表明：澳大利亞和新西蘭的孩子無人監(jiān)督的自由活動(dòng)量相近，但比起德國(guó)或英國(guó)的孩子要少得多。[4]譬如說，澳大利亞和新西蘭僅有1/3的10歲兒童被允許單獨(dú)去學(xué)校以外的地方玩，而在德國(guó)這一比率達(dá)到了80%。

與男孩相比，女孩受到的限制更多，父母擔(dān)心她們會(huì)受到攻擊或騷擾;[5]而對(duì)男孩來說，交通安全被視為最大的威脅。在新一代人中，擁有自行車的人數(shù)翻了一番，但“獨(dú)立活動(dòng)能力”-----無人看管的行動(dòng)或探險(xiǎn)的能力-----已經(jīng)急劇下降。譬如，在奧克蘭，許多小學(xué)都規(guī)定自行車要拆除座后架，因?yàn)槿藗冇X得街上太不安全。克賴斯特徹奇市是新西蘭最適合騎自行車的城市，但在那里，小學(xué)生騎車上學(xué)的比例也從20世紀(jì)70年代末期的90%多下降到了目前的不到20%。孩子們被安全地綁在4X4家用越野車內(nèi)，開車從家里送到校門口，然后送去跳芭蕾、踢足球或?qū)W游泳-----很少離開大人關(guān)注的視線內(nèi)。

[6]新澤西州一位小學(xué)副校長(zhǎng)、曲棍球教練博比·舒爾茲在美國(guó)《體育、娛樂與舞蹈》雜志中寫道：放學(xué)后與小區(qū)里的孩子一起在街上玩-----他們自己創(chuàng)立規(guī)則，自己做決定和解決爭(zhēng)端-----這是真正可以學(xué)到本領(lǐng)的地方?！敖值朗俏耀@得生活技能最大的源泉之一?！彼f，“[6]如今我再也看不到‘在街上玩耍’的場(chǎng)景了。我看到的只是一些成人組織的活動(dòng)。父母親卻沒有意識(shí)到，他們孩子的個(gè)性發(fā)展中極其重要的一部分正在煙消云散?！?/p>

孩子們被自行車頭盔、車用專座、“安全”運(yùn)動(dòng)場(chǎng)和防曬遮光劑等精心保護(hù)著，這明顯地向他們傳遞了這樣的信息：這個(gè)世界充滿著危險(xiǎn)-----而且他們涉世尚淺，無力獨(dú)自應(yīng)付。但研究卻一再表明，年輕人遠(yuǎn)比我們所想象的能干得多。新西蘭兒童問題中心主任安妮·史密斯教授說：“許多成年人不能理解的是，如果孩子總被阻攔著或保護(hù)著，他們將永遠(yuǎn)學(xué)不會(huì)長(zhǎng)大?！?/p>

教育心理學(xué)家保羅·普朗格雷認(rèn)為，該是把孩子的保護(hù)套拿掉的時(shí)候了。他認(rèn)為：做父母的幾乎快成為幻想狂了，以至于制造了一代幼稚、不可靠的年輕人，他們潛意識(shí)里得到的教育是，自己沒有獨(dú)立處理事情的能力?！斑m應(yīng)能力以及抵擋壓力和誘惑的能力，是后天學(xué)會(huì)的技能，”普朗格雷解釋說，“如果你把孩子裹在棉絮當(dāng)中，不給他們冒險(xiǎn)的機(jī)會(huì)，他們?nèi)蘸缶透锌赡苋狈ψ龀鲐?fù)責(zé)任的決定的能力?！?/p>

父母應(yīng)該有正確的判斷力

[7]可悲的是，一例例觸目驚心的孩子被誘拐并謀殺的案件------例如英國(guó)的10女孩霍莉·韋爾斯和杰西卡·查普曼案;澳大利亞5歲女孩克洛伊·霍森，就在離她住的地方200米處發(fā)現(xiàn)了她的尸體;還有6歲的新西蘭女孩特莉莎·科馬克，在去學(xué)校的路上被人擄走------所起的作用，無非是加深了父母親心中的恐懼。譬如，特莉莎·科馬克的死亡是新西蘭罕見的隨意誘拐兒童的案件之一。在澳大利亞，15歲以下的青少年被陌生人謀殺的概率據(jù)估計(jì)是四百萬分之一。而孩子遭受來自家庭成員或熟人的危險(xiǎn)的可能性要大得多。

不過，父母的恐懼頗具感染性。在英國(guó)的一項(xiàng)研究中，擔(dān)心被陌生人襲擊的孩子比擔(dān)心被汽車撞的要多得多。簡(jiǎn)·帕克和簡(jiǎn)·斯廷普森在她們的育兒書《讓孩子快樂無憂》中寫道：“我們正在喪失正確判斷和能力。教育孩子掌握確保安全的技能，與在此過程中對(duì)他們進(jìn)行不必要的限制和帶給他們不必要的恐懼，這兩者之間，每個(gè)父母都必須對(duì)自己的套路細(xì)加惦量?！?/p>

[8]奧塔哥大學(xué)的規(guī)劃專家克萊爾·弗里曼博士指出公眾責(zé)任感的削弱是人們之間互不信任的又一犧牲品。就在不久以前，成年人能認(rèn)識(shí)當(dāng)?shù)厮械男『?，可以充?dāng)小區(qū)內(nèi)孩子們的非正式監(jiān)護(hù)人?！叭缃?，特別是如果你是一位男士，你在向一個(gè)迷路的孩子伸出援手時(shí)可能要猶豫一番，生怕人家會(huì)懷疑你的動(dòng)機(jī)。”

給孩子更多的空間和關(guān)注

作為20世紀(jì)90年代中期的規(guī)劃專家，弗里曼開始關(guān)注因發(fā)展而造成的綠色地帶喪失、隨意玩耍的去處減少等問題。在一項(xiàng)關(guān)于英國(guó)利茲市兒童如何過暑假的研究中，她發(fā)現(xiàn)：與他們父母的童年經(jīng)歷相比，現(xiàn)在孩子探險(xiǎn)的自由嚴(yán)重受到限制-----有時(shí)候，只許在自家的前院里玩。弗里曼說，她不記得自己小時(shí)曾在屋子里待著過，也沒有一個(gè)人獨(dú)自玩耍的情況。成長(zhǎng)就是要成為群體的一分子。[9]如今已是四個(gè)孩子母親的弗里曼認(rèn)為，“只許在家玩”的做法剝奪了孩子們成為社會(huì)一員的歸屬意識(shí)。

不過，弗里曼又說道：孩子們的需求已開始得到越來越多的重視了。[10]在荷蘭，人們劃出了適合孩子們待的“家居區(qū)”，這一區(qū)域?qū)π腥藘?yōu)先，對(duì)車輛進(jìn)行限制;根據(jù)孩子們應(yīng)當(dāng)學(xué)會(huì)如何與水安全相處的原則，池塘被規(guī)劃進(jìn)了居住的房產(chǎn)地塊內(nèi)，而不是讓其僅存于荒效野地。畢竟，就像《海底總動(dòng)員》中一只聰明的魚所說的那樣，跟你的孩子說“永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)有事的”是很成問題的，因?yàn)槿绻氵@么說的話，那他也就不能經(jīng)歷任何事情了。

測(cè)試題

1.According to Brickland,parents nowadays have changed their____________.

A)standards of the children"s proper dressing

B)worry about the children"s personal safety

C)ways to communicate with children

D)confidence in the children"s ability

2.When Brickland and her sister were little,they kept the home key because_____________.

A)they wanted to be trusted B)their mother had to work

C)their mother didn"t live at home D)they were very naughty and wild

3.Mayer Hillman indicates that children now have less and less_____________.

A)space for playing B)contact with animals

C)concern about others D)knowledge about nature

4.Paul Tranter finds that eighty percent of the children were allowed to visit places other than school alone in_____________.

A)Australia B)New Zealand C)Germany D)Britain

5.What is ranked by parents as the greatest threat to boys?

A)Gang crimes. B)Online games. C)Extreme sports. D)Dangerous traffics.

6.Bobbie Schultz points out that real learning takes place in______________.

A)on-the-street play B)adult-organized activities

C)student-centered teaching D)home and nature

7.What accident had happened to a little girl called Chloe Hoson?

A)She was robbed on her way to school. B)She was kidnapped and murdered.

C)She fell a victim to domestic violence. D)She disappeared for no reason.

8.Claire Freeman thinks that lack of mutual trust results in__________________.

9.Freeman concludes that kids are robbed of their sense of belonging to the society by___________________.

10.Netherlands has placed the rights of pedestrians before those of cars in such areas called____________.

答案詳解

1.[D][定位]首段末句。

解析：題止中的changed與原文該句中的altered為同義詞，可見altered的賓語(yǔ)confidence為答案的關(guān)鍵間，在4個(gè)選項(xiàng)中，只有D與confidence有關(guān)，為本題答案。A中的dressing試圖將考生的"注意力轉(zhuǎn)移到首段倒數(shù)第2句的boxers(四腳褲)和undies(內(nèi)衣)，雖然這兩個(gè)詞比較陌生，但看到該句末的haven"t changed，就無須考慮太多，可以肯定A并非本題答案。其他兩個(gè)選項(xiàng)的內(nèi)容在原文并未提及。

2.[B][定位]根據(jù)題干中的Brickland, her sister及home key定位到第1個(gè)小標(biāo)題Worry-ridden Parents and Stifled Kids下首段第2句。

解析：原文該句中的...so...表明了與題干要求的同樣的因果關(guān)系，so前面提到的原因與B相同，因此本題應(yīng)選B。其他選項(xiàng)均來提及。

3.[A][定位]根據(jù)題干中的Mayer Hillman定位到笫1個(gè)小標(biāo)題Worry-ridde Parents and Stifled Kids下第3段第3句。

解析：該句中的contracted與less and less意思相近，與contracted前的play zone

同義的選項(xiàng)為本題答案，因此A為本題答案。要小心B。原文該句中提到的henhouse chickens可能會(huì)誤導(dǎo)考生選擇B.事宴上，henhouse chickens用于比喻受過分保護(hù)的小孩，與animals沒有關(guān)系。

4.[C][定位]根據(jù)題干中的allowed to visit places 和school alone定位到第2個(gè)小標(biāo)題Parents Wrap Kids up in Cotton Wool下首段末句。

解析：原文該段提到多個(gè)國(guó)家的名稱，只要按照題干中的eighty percent，再結(jié)合選項(xiàng)中的國(guó)家名稱。應(yīng)該很快可以確定本題答案為C。

5.[D][定位]根據(jù)the greatest threat to boys定位到第2個(gè)小標(biāo)題Parents Wrap Kids up in Cotton Wool下第2段首句。

解析：原文該句while引出的分句明確表明traffic dangers是對(duì)男孩最大的安全威脅，D是對(duì)traffic dangers的同義改寫，為本題答案。

6.[A][定位]根據(jù)題干中的Bobbie Schultz和rcal learning定位到第2個(gè)小標(biāo)題Parents Wrap Kids up in Cotton Wool下第3段首句和第3句。

解析：將首句中破折號(hào)前后的內(nèi)容結(jié)合起來可以知道playing in the street after school with neighbourhood kids就是真正學(xué)到本領(lǐng)的地方。在該段第3句Bobbie Schultz將此簡(jiǎn)稱為on-the-street play，因此A為本題答案。

7.[B][定位]根據(jù)題干中的Chloe Hoson定位到第3個(gè)小標(biāo)題Parents Should Gain Proper Perspective下首段首句。

解析：該句笫2個(gè)分句中的body暗示Chloe Hoson被murdered(該句開頭提到的)，因此本題應(yīng)選B。本段提到的是kidnap和murder，其他選項(xiàng)提到的各種罪案在原文并未提及。

8.[the erosion of community responsibility]

[定位]根據(jù)題干中的Claire Freeman和mutual定位到第3個(gè)小標(biāo)題Parents Should Gain Proper Perspective下末段首句。

解析：空白處應(yīng)為名詞(詞組)。原文該句中的...as another casualty of...，表明mutual distrust導(dǎo)致the erosion of community responsibility，題目中的lack of mutual trust是對(duì)mutual distrust的同義改寫，由此可見，the erosion of community responsibility為本題答案。

9.[the“domestication of play”]

[定位]根據(jù)題干中的Freeman和kids are robbed of their sense定位到最后一個(gè)小標(biāo)題More Space and More Attention to Kids’Needs下首段末句。

解析：空白處應(yīng)為名詞(詞組)。對(duì)比原文與題目可見，兩個(gè)句子的語(yǔ)態(tài)相反：原文rob為主動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)，而題目中rob為被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)，兩句的主語(yǔ)和賓語(yǔ)位置相反，所以原文rob的主語(yǔ)the“domestication of play”即為本題答案。

10.[child-friendly“home zones”]

[定位]根據(jù)題干中的The Netherlands和pedestrians定位到最后一個(gè)小標(biāo)題 More Space and More Attention to Kids" Needs下末段第2句。

解析：空白處應(yīng)為名詞(詞組)。題干與原文中where引出的定語(yǔ)從句內(nèi)容相同，兩句對(duì)比可見.題目中缺少了原句中的主語(yǔ)child-friendly“home zones”。